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Can't See the Silver Lining? How to Conquer Disappointment.

Trending - Fitness

- This is a guest post by Pam Wilson -


I am a glass-half-filled kind of girl.

No matter the situation I can find the silver lining. It’s not that I spin the facts-I just prefer to emphasize the positive if I can. Recently I had a crushing disappointment that I wasn’t expecting. It wasn’t a health crisis and everyone was okay. I say that because if it was a health crisis or something was seriously wrong I would have handled it differently.

Here's what got me down.

I had written a piece for a locally produced show and had made it through the initial round of cuts. I then had to audition the piece in front of the four women producing the show. When I first found out about the show, I was wary. I had a history with two of the women and I wondered how impartial they could be. However, as time went on, I got excited about the project and was looking forward to my callback for the audition.

My sister, nephew, daughter and friend Jenny helped me prepare for the audition offering hints that made the piece really sparkle. I had a great audition. I know I did. I felt great about how I delivered a heart-felt, humorous piece on the topic of motherhood. In fact, as nervous as I was, I had a lot of fun auditioning.

Information regarding the auditions and program then came via e-mail. On the Thursday before the Friday that we were told they would announce the “winners” (ewww, I hate how this was phrased) I was thanked for my effort, time and participation. Evidently the producers did not think it was a great audition because I did not make the final show. I was home alone when I read the e-mail. I knew before I even opened it that I hadn't been picked.

Somewhere along the line I had invested in myself the confidence and assumption that I would be among the finalists. I couldn’t believe it. I had been so sure about my success. Honestly, it knocked the wind out of me.

So I did something I rarely do...

I reached out as honestly as I could to my friends to get through this and re-gain my footing. I e-mailed three friends who sent encouraging e-mails. I talked with my sister who was as disappointed as I was. My daughter sent me the following text; “I’m sorry, mom. If it helps I really liked your piece. Luv you!”

Next I did what I always do.

I tried to think of reasons I wasn’t successful and thought of ways to re-think the situation so that I could find something positive about the experience. What I discovered was I liked hearing my writing. I also found out that auditioning was quite fun.

To top it off, I got active.

I laced up my shoes, put on exercise clothes, leashed the dog and went walking. And I kept walking letting the fresh air and sunshine work their magic like they usually do. I walked and walked and finally feeling better came home (my fingers were freezing from how cold it was at the time).

I struggled as I thought about what had happened and tried to find the silver lining. I could have stayed safely in my world and not ventured out presenting my writing and my interpretation for others to choose or not to choose. Ultimately in the end, staying the course by talking with friends and working out helped me realize that my glass is still half-full.

Nothing clears my head like Zumba! And working out with these ladies made me feel fantastic and capable of putting the disappointing experience into perspective. It’s up to me to determine how I feel about being disappointed; but even more than that to find a way to live with the experience in a positive, healthy way.

That's me on the bottom right, kneeling down.


Pam Wilson is the author of S.O.S. from Suburbia, which appears as a column on STLToday. She likes to write about out-of-the-ordinary exercise options and considers herself a beach girl at heart even though she hails from Missouri. Pam believes chocolate should be a food group, that Spanx can be your friend and dancing to 80's music will keep you young.


written by Bianca Jade a.k.a Mizzfit



Say what's on your mind!

brittany monroe May 23rd, 2013 9:41PM

Ahh this hits mom with me!!! I have been participating in the Under Armour Whats beautiful campaign for a while now. When they announced round two finalists I was so nervous but knew I had it in the bag. I was indeed one of the top 20 finalists. WHEWWW was I relived, well in another two weeks they were going to announce the top 10 winners out of the 20 finalists. This made me so nauseous to even think about. I was so confident and sure I was one of the 10. When the winners were announced they posted pictures of them on the website. I kept scrolling up and down thinking I had missed my picture. I was not one of the winners. This truly broke my heart. I had worked so hard and put so much into this competition only to find I was not a winner was devastating. It took a week for me to really get over it. But now I understand that my life in its self comes first before a competition. I'm a stay at home mom to a busy 2 year old boy and a wife. I have accomplished so much and I will not let a competition define me or how far I have come. Sure I would have loved to have won but to myself and my family I already have :) Thanks for this wonderful post!!!

MizzFIT May 23rd, 2013 11:22PM

Hi Brittany,

Even though I didn't write the article, just going to respond to your comment. Disappointment is one of the hardest things to deal with. I've been there often. It's hard to make myself workout during these times but I always force myself to because even if I feel better just a little, it's worth it. I don't think God (or whoever our maker is) intended us to get everything we want/desire in life. I remind myself of that. Life is about gains and losses. So glad you enjoyed the post! I enjoyed reading your response to it!


Brittany monroe May 28th, 2013 5:29PM

Thanks Bianca!!! I also believe we are not meant to get or have everything we want. There needs to be things in life that we strive towards or we would never have to try. We need things to live for and give us hope. Sure winnig and having everything in our wish list would be fabulous from time to time but not just not always in the cards :) thanks for the comment!!!!!

MizzFIT May 29th, 2013 8:02PM

Hi B,

You are so thinking what has been on my mind for the last week or 2. I recently split from my boyfriend and moved out of our apartment together. It was a disappointing time in my life to go through even though I knew it had to be done. It was a step I had to make and at first I resisted it. When I embraced what life was serving me and went through the motions of doing what I had to do, I actually started to feel better and less disappointed about things. It was almost a relief. I think the hardest part of disappointment is fighting it. But my move and new apartment are actually now treating me well. I feel a new spring in my step. I have new goals and the disappointment I felt is now starting to fade away. Sometimes we just have to give up control and blow with the wind of life, y'know? SENDING YOU A HUGE HUG!

--MizzFIT/Bianca Jade