Become a MizzFIT Insider!

Join my FREE monthly newsletter

You'll instantly receive the MizzFIT
Style Up 2 Shape Up Guide

with my top tips for creating
and maintaining your new Fit Look!

Start turning heads and loving life.
Style-scribe now!

close this window

Ride for Suicide Prevention in Salt Lake City, Utah with The GLMR

Fitness - Entertainment


Suicide - How It's Affected My Life

I lost my grandfather and my beautiful cousin Paige to suicide...and I can't help but cry right now as I type these words. I wish Paige was alive to guest post here on and talk about how we hiked the Grand Canyon together. I wish my grandfather could see me grown up. But suicide is the final chapter and the last thing I remember about them when I see their pictures.


You Can't Fight Sadness With Sadness

My friend Zach Ludlow suffered the same loss with his dad but decided you can't beat sadness with sadness. Instead he founded an annual benefit ride in Salt Lake City, Utah (Payson to be exact) to raise awareness and funds for mental illness and suicide prevention. "It began as a memorial ride for my dad who was a cyclist and loved the sport," Zach tells me. But Zach was born with healing power. He once taught me that the best way out of sadness is to ask whatever god you believe in for direction. And I gotta say, it works every time for me.

Below you'll find details about The GLMR Ride/Race happening this weekend in Salt Lake City. If you can't ride you can donate or become a sponsor. Empty pockets? They need volunteers! Don't live in Utah, well then become a kindred follower of The GLMR on Facebook.


The GLMR: Why It Shines & How You Can Get Involved

The GLMR is educating people about mental illnesses and the resources available for those who suffer, as well as those who have been left behind. It's about good vibes and sharing a fun feel-good ride for an amazing cause. If you live nearby, please join the ride on Saturday, July 30th. There's a $45 registration fee and proceeds go to support the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI Utah) and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP Utah).

THE RIDE: 100K meter benefit ride

WHERE: Payson at the Park and Ride (900 N @ 143 W, Payson, UT 84651)

WHEN: Saturday, July 30th 2011

START TIME: 7am - 7.30am


MORE INFO: Go to or call Stan at 801.830.6655

Depressing Stuff Is Unappetizing To Read But...

Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your day. I know this isn't my usual topic of fitness fashion and the point of my website is quite the opposite of making you sad. But I truly believe that fitness is medicine and that we can fight all kinds of diseases with it. I've suffered from a bout of heavy depression too in my life, which one day I hope to talk more about. Let's be honest, we've all been there to some degree. We can't fight sadness with sadness. Please urge the ones you love to get active, to get help, to trust you and talk to you. Please be the one to notice that something is not right and offer your love and support for recovery. Mental illness and suicidal ideations are scary whether you know the person or not. But don't run away from them. Help them help themselves. As my dad says, it's a miztvah.


written by Bianca Jade a.k.a Mizzfit



Say what's on your mind!

Kristen July 29th, 2011 3:52AM

Well-written and moving post. Thanks for being brave and broaching a topic that no one wants to talk about but really needs discussion!

MizzFIT July 29th, 2011 4:56AM

Hi Kristen,

Thank you so much for leaving this comment. It's hard to talk about because it brings up lots of complicated emotions but I also feel that it's very cathartic once I get it out or share my story with someone else who had experienced something similar. It's never easy to lose someone early in your life or to accept that it was their choice to go. When I was 27 I actually sat down with my grandma and asked her all the questions about my grandpa's depression that I could never ask my parents. She told me I was one of the few to ask because most people felt uncomfortable bringing it up. We both had a good cry together and I will always remember that moment as the closest I felt to my grandma. You have to questions. We're always in the classroom throughout our lives...and it's best to learn from than to sweep these incidents under the rug.

Thanks again, Kristen.


Lizz July 29th, 2011 7:04AM

Hi MizzFit -

I know it must have been so hard for you to share such an intimate and personal subject with the world wide web. It has def moved me and I hope that it will help others in need.

Keep up the great work.

MizzFIT July 29th, 2011 8:42AM

Hi Lizz,

I really deeply appreciate this comment from you and the one above from Kristen. Wasn’t sure if anyone was going to comment on this posts but it’s nice to know that someone is, in fact, reading it. I’m a big believer in communication…even through the internet. We don’t have to know each other like family to lend our support. We just have to be supportive of the positive strides people are making in their lives. And that’s why I really had to write about what Zach Ludlow is doing. His dad would be so proud of him. Thank you again for your sweet comment, Lizz. And for always having a voice here on



Val Viera August 3rd, 2011 7:30AM

Wow, I knew we were kindred spirits...I lost my brother to suicide 3 years ago. He was very important to me, we were very close, and it was devestating. It's one of those things that is hard to explain to anyone, and I am so glad you have the courage to discuss it openly. It's the only way to increase awareness, and to help others.
So sorry for your losses. Depression is an illness and has to be taken very seriously.
By the way, the rainbow Banjees with the peace sign that we make...internally we call them "the Johnny," named after my brother. We donate some of the proceeds in his name to a Rape and Incest Survivor program (another light topic.) You are giving me the courage to name it publicly and talk about the inspiration...Much love...Val

MizzFIT August 3rd, 2011 7:51AM


We are kindred spirits! I think families tend to hide or hush incidents of suicide...because of the negativity (usually religion based) associated with it. I know that my family doesn't like to talk about it. Each suicide happened on a different side of my family and to be honest, both sides kind of reacted the same way. No one really addressed it or spoke of using the experience to prevent it from happening to other families. I don't blame them. They were sad and dealing with something they never expected to happen. And losing a loved one to suicide, as you know, causes a lot of unrest because you're both sad and angry. It's a wave of internal conflict that you're left to resolve in your heart and with your family...but without the person who you're feeling all that emotion for.

I'm not saying that people should commit suicide if they want to, but in the end, it's their life and they control the on/off switch. All we can do is try our best to educate and support those who are troubled by suicidal ideation. And I remain optimistic that for many tortured souls, this CAN be enough. We just need to pay attention, open our eyes and not be frightened or embarrassed to talk about it.

I should be thanking you for sharing your experience here. I'm glad to know we have a lot more than fitness fashion in common, and please know that I'm here to lend support for all the wonderful things you are doing with Sprigs & Banjees.

Val Viera August 3rd, 2011 7:57AM

I think it's more common than people think. Once you start talking about it, people come out of the woodwork. And even more common are the "accidents" that people say, "they always wondered if it was an accident."

I was fortunate in that my brother was very outspoken about euthenasia and suicide, and about the fact that it was the person's choice in the end and not the fault of those around them. He also asked me in a message, to fogive him, and to move on and be happy. He was a kind and generous soul, and wasn't be "selfish," as many people like to say about people who commit suicide.

We'll have to do lunch again soon, and talk on a deeper level next time, even though I will always talk fitness and fashion with you girlfriend!


MizzFIT August 4th, 2011 6:15PM


Thank you so much for sharing a piece of your life here. My grandfather and cousin Paige were also very giving and gentle people. My grandpa had bipolar and my cousin had Parkinson's disease. Neither wanted to continue living with their disease, but I do wish they were still around. And I know that someday I will see them again...somewhere.

Will you be attending IDEA FIT in LA? Let's continue the conversation soon and also talk about new developments with your amazing fitness company!

Your friend,

Bianca Jade of MizzFIT