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How My Relationship with Fitness Changed and Jealousy Entered

Fitness - Health

Jealousy. It hits hard and ugly. I hate feeling it and admitting to it. But that’s how it goes. It’s a human thing for our eyes to turn green with envy. When you’re in a relationship with someone you’ve got to work through it because it can literally destroy you and the love you cherish.

I’m going through it myself in my relationship with fitness. As I recover from a recent surgery, things just haven’t been the same. This is due to my doctor telling me not to work out for 3-6 weeks. The painkillers, Valium, and antibiotics kill my energy, digestion and mood. I've spent a good amount of time as a helpless blob propped up with pillows in my bed. I've watched the days go by from my window, zoning out to Dr. Phil. I could feel the the distance growing between me and fitness--our romance now practically nonexistent.

I never knew so much could change in so little time! But fitness is hard to date because of the commitment and focused mental connection it requires. When you go from giving 100% to 0%, it’s frustrating finding your way back…and that’s where I am right now.

I want fitness to notice ME again! I’m jealous of all the girls who are stealing its attention away from me, in their perfectly coordinated activewear, hopping from one group fitness class to another. I used to be one of them and now, in comparison, I move at sloth speed with my fitness fashion limited to what’s loose and comfy. I’m trying to see the light but this recovery tunnel is long and dark.

Against my doctor’s orders, I’ve been sneaking in some workouts and planning my big comeback. It looks a little like this even though I'm physically not there yet:

You’ve got to love yourself before anyone else will is what I keep telling myself. This is so easily forgotten in times of weakness, leading women to abandon themselves as head cheerleader. Jealousy doesn't love back--it only breaks you down--so I've got to love myself strong and sexy. That's what comebacks (and bra-tops) are all about.

I know I can’t force fitness to pick up where we left off and love me like it used to. People inevitably change in their relationships. I have to make peace with where I am right now and trust that whatever happens between me and fitness in the coming months is what’s mean to be.

With that said, every girl should have a game plan. Mine has focused on the following:

1. Extracting Yuckiness. This isn’t stupendously scientific or anything but getting rid of internal toxicity and negativity is a huge baby step when you can’t voraciously sweat it out. So far, I’ve gotten an amazing facial at Exhale Spa. The Z Peel and Cool Beam add-ons are not cheap but you'll be facially revived and walk out unclogged and glowing.  I’m also trying a gentle detox called Flor-Essence and I plan to see my energy/reiki healer soon. I didn’t believe in energy healing until I had a session with Danny Bellini in Saint Louis, Missouri. He literally shook the uneasiness I was feeling on many levels right out of me. I was on cloud nine afterwards. It was weird and awesome. I can’t quite explain it, but all the heaviness holding me down was gone.

2. Signing up for a Classtivity ClassPass. I figured the ClassPass would reignite my passion for working out by giving me an array of fun classes to try as my fitness level improves. The ClassPass gets you into 10 classes per month for $99 and there are so many to choose from. Every month you’re subscribed, your account resets with 10 more classes. I can’t exactly hit Barry’s Bootcamp right now but I can take Pilates classes and I’m really looking forward to Fitwalker at Superstar Gym. It’s like online dating for fitness--a fast way to meet new workouts without committing to 1 membership. I'm doing it to get my Mizzfit groove back. Check it out for yourself HERE!

3. Skipping Town. It’s good to get away and change your environment every so often, and God knows I need it! I will be heading off to Hawaii for Wanderlust O’ahu in a few weeks and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I’ll be reporting on the festival and writing about Turtle Bay Resort, including all the health trends happening on the North Shore. I’m looking forward to stylish rashguards, stand up paddle boarding and the A-frame surf cottage I rented to write from.

I plan to leave jealousy behind. Upon my return I think fitness will find me quite refreshed…and maybe, just maybe, we’ll have another go at it.

What’s your relationship with fitness like? Have you ever broken up? Comment below!

written by Bianca Jade a.k.a Mizzfit



Say what's on your mind!

Liz Stark January 28th, 2014 7:58PM

When I injured my neck and back in December, I thought my life was over (being the drama queen that I am, haha). I thought I was paralyzed and hated myself for the injury, since I didn't understand how it could happen (I was doing push-ups in the morning and I wasn't warmed up enough). I couldn't work out for 2 weeks, which felt like an eternity; but, as weird as it sounds, this made me appreciate my body more and I actually enjoyed my sessions with my trainer more when I returned. Given my past as an over-exerciser, I think my body was warning me against falling into that trap again. Thankfully I healed completely and I really enjoy every minute of fitness; and am grateful that I CAN take a break when necessary, and not beat myself up over it anymore.

I truly hope you are able to heal 100% soon and fully enjoy your upcoming trip - I cannot wait to read all about it! I also hope that your relationship with fitness returns to what you love and want it to be. Trust that, once you get better, you and fitness will be one again :)

Mizzfit January 28th, 2014 9:55PM


I really needed to hear what you wrote. I feel like I just had an online therapy session with you. THANK YOU. Loving your body at your weakest and strongest is quite a feat, but it's something we have to learn how to do with age. Thank you for always being so open about your life and personal experiences with health and people. I love reading your comments.
xoxo, Mizzfit

Shara January 28th, 2014 10:15PM

I feel your pain! I have a stress fracture on my left foot and a strained rotator cuff and haven't been to the gym in a month. I feel the same jealously of everyone I see doing everything and it is frustrating and depressing. Just remember what you were capable of before and that you still have it in you! Fully healing will prepare your body to come back and get stronger than ever. That's what I've been trying to convince myself :)

Mizzfit January 28th, 2014 10:22PM

Hi Shara,

I'm sad you feel my pain but it's nice to know I'm not alone. Isn't it awful? Thanks for the superb advice. I will have you in my mind tonight as I attempt a workout. You rock.

Amy February 9th, 2014 12:49AM

Hey Bianca!

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this right now. It must be really hard to just sit in one place! I mean that in all seriousness!

Envy hits me (and everyone, I'm sure) pretty often, too. I feel you on that.

As a fellow fitness blogger, I just wanted to reach out and say that there's so much room for all of us out here! We need different voices speaking up like yours and mine and the Toned Up girls because together, we reach every kind of girl out there. We can all become empowered TOGETHER with the help of our grrrl power of choice. ;)

And girl, you got plenty to go around. You'll come out of this soon enough, and even stronger. :)

In much admiration, love and encouragement,
Strong Inside Out

Mizzfit February 9th, 2014 5:49PM

Hi Amy,
I'm doing so much better now but your message still hits home. Thank you for the amazing words of encouragement and support. You're too sweet. Can you possibly leave me a comment with the link to your site so that I can check it out/visit? I'd like that. Again, loved your reading your message and really appreciate that you took the time to read what I wrote.


Amy February 9th, 2014 9:33PM

So so so happy to. I'm glad they lifted you up!

I live at Talk soon!


Mizzfit February 9th, 2014 10:40PM

Hey Amy,

OMG. I just checked out your site. I'm blown away. I'd love to connect and chat with you this coming week. Let's get in touch!