How My Relationship with Fitness Changed and Jealousy Entered
Jealousy. It hits hard and ugly. I hate feeling it and admitting to it. But that’s how it goes. It’s a human thing for our eyes to turn green with envy. When you’re in a relationship with someone you’ve got to work through it because it can literally destroy you and the love you cherish.
I’m going through it myself in my relationship with fitness. As I recover from a recent surgery, things just haven’t been the same. This is due to my doctor telling me not to work out for 3-6 weeks. The painkillers, Valium, and antibiotics kill my energy, digestion and mood. I've spent a good amount of time as a helpless blob propped up with pillows in my bed. I've watched the days go by from my window, zoning out to Dr. Phil. I could feel the the distance growing between me and fitness--our romance now practically nonexistent.
I never knew so much could change in so little time! But fitness is hard to date because of the commitment and focused mental connection it requires. When you go from giving 100% to 0%, it’s frustrating finding your way back…and that’s where I am right now.
I want fitness to notice ME again! I’m jealous of all the girls who are stealing its attention away from me, in their perfectly coordinated activewear, hopping from one group fitness class to another. I used to be one of them and now, in comparison, I move at sloth speed with my fitness fashion limited to what’s loose and comfy. I’m trying to see the light but this recovery tunnel is long and dark.
Against my doctor’s orders, I’ve been sneaking in some workouts and planning my big comeback. It looks a little like this even though I'm physically not there yet:
You’ve got to love yourself before anyone else will is what I keep telling myself. This is so easily forgotten in times of weakness, leading women to abandon themselves as head cheerleader. Jealousy doesn't love back--it only breaks you down--so I've got to love myself strong and sexy. That's what comebacks (and bra-tops) are all about.
I know I can’t force fitness to pick up where we left off and love me like it used to. People inevitably change in their relationships. I have to make peace with where I am right now and trust that whatever happens between me and fitness in the coming months is what’s mean to be.
With that said, every girl should have a game plan. Mine has focused on the following:
1. Extracting Yuckiness. This isn’t stupendously scientific or anything but getting rid of internal toxicity and negativity is a huge baby step when you can’t voraciously sweat it out. So far, I’ve gotten an amazing facial at Exhale Spa. The Z Peel and Cool Beam add-ons are not cheap but you'll be facially revived and walk out unclogged and glowing. I’m also trying a gentle detox called Flor-Essence and I plan to see my energy/reiki healer soon. I didn’t believe in energy healing until I had a session with Danny Bellini in Saint Louis, Missouri. He literally shook the uneasiness I was feeling on many levels right out of me. I was on cloud nine afterwards. It was weird and awesome. I can’t quite explain it, but all the heaviness holding me down was gone.
2. Signing up for a Classtivity ClassPass. I figured the ClassPass would reignite my passion for working out by giving me an array of fun classes to try as my fitness level improves. The ClassPass gets you into 10 classes per month for $99 and there are so many to choose from. Every month you’re subscribed, your account resets with 10 more classes. I can’t exactly hit Barry’s Bootcamp right now but I can take Pilates classes and I’m really looking forward to Fitwalker at Superstar Gym. It’s like online dating for fitness--a fast way to meet new workouts without committing to 1 membership. I'm doing it to get my Mizzfit groove back. Check it out for yourself HERE!
3. Skipping Town. It’s good to get away and change your environment every so often, and God knows I need it! I will be heading off to Hawaii for Wanderlust O’ahu in a few weeks and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I’ll be reporting on the festival and writing about Turtle Bay Resort, including all the health trends happening on the North Shore. I’m looking forward to stylish rashguards, stand up paddle boarding and the A-frame surf cottage I rented to write from.
I plan to leave jealousy behind. Upon my return I think fitness will find me quite refreshed…and maybe, just maybe, we’ll have another go at it.
What’s your relationship with fitness like? Have you ever broken up? Comment below!